Painted Images
Disclaimer: I wrote this quite awhile ago and forgot about it. It is therapeutic for me. It may seem a bit unpolished at best, but that is the point. This was just a rambling with no editing. With that said…here it is.
Painted Images
If I were a painter, I would paint the beautiful image that God has placed in my heart. I would pour the paint on the canvas and leave the interpretation to each individual observer. The viewpoints would vary based on each traveler’s journey and the baggage with which they travel. The human attempt to capture a glimpse of the Master’s heart would be crude at best, but the common bond would be the confrontation with the Master Artist as the scene is laid out for all to see.
However, I am not an artist in even my most feeble attempts. So I am left to choose the most proficient words to try to explain the scene that plays out in the inner regions of my heart and soul. I will have to try a reversal to stress the magnificence of the Master’s heart. Instead of paint on canvas, I am left with words on a screen. In place of artistic interpretation, I am the interpreter attempting to create a haven for readers to paint the picture in their own mind. The variations will be plentiful. Yet each will ring true in the mind and heart of the audience. So as you read, allow the Holy Spirit to guide your imagination into the very core of your soul and capture the beauty of the moment despite the humble limitations of the words set before you. And so the journey begins…
The day begins like any other. I am a traveler, a vagabond. I make my home wherever I see fit. I walk the path and try not to stray too far. It is my safety net after all. I walk in the light until it becomes too bright, then I play in the shadows. The coolness of the dark is comforting at first. It is exhilarating, dangerous. As I stay too long, the light starts to fade and I am afraid. I quickly rush back to where I know I belong and all is well again. Until the next time I get bored in the light…
This is how it is most days. I do not normally give it much thought. The Light is always there waiting for me to return. No one ever gets hurt. Or at least that is what I tell myself. Sure, some people along the path get left behind. But how is that my concern? They choose to stay in the shadows too long. We all know the risk. We are warned. Some people choose to make camp and stay where they are forever. I guess that is a viable option if the boredom doesn’t consume you. Some people run ahead. I don’t really know what they do there. I assume they are over-achievers and assure myself that no one really requires such a commitment. I mean, what’s the rush?
Me? I choose to play the game. Run awhile, take a much-deserved rest, play in the shadows and eventually return to the path. I have played this game for years. I do not really remember when I became a traveler. I guess it has always been this way. I used to walk with a large crowd of people. Many have gone on ahead. Some have just seemed to disappear…I now spend much of my time alone on this road. I enjoy the solitude. I like the silence. Who needs all the commotion and responsibility of traveling in a group? Not me! I am a loner. But I wonder if that is the case, what is this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach? When did the loneliness appear? When did the silence become so deafening? When did the shadows become so large? Where did the light go? Where am I going? I am lost and alone. I do not want to play this game anymore.
My options are a bit skewed. What can I do? I can stop, but I am afraid of the dark. I can run ahead, but I am not sure where the path is anymore. I have lost sight of the purpose of my journey. How can I find my way if I am not sure where I was going? Why did I stray from the light? It was my comfort. Or was it? How can I be sure it wasn’t just a façade? Stop it! My mind is swirling. Finally, I stop and look up. There it is…the shadow I am standing in is proof of the Light. What kind of magnificence casts a shadow so far and so wide? I remember where I was going…I return to the path.
As I continue to walk I am sure that I am on the right path now. I can hear the Master’s voice. I find comfort in His voice. I continue to walk alone…
Once again the silence is surrounding me. I did not stray from the path! I follow the voice. Why are You silent now? I do not know where to go! I grow weary to the point of death, but I walk on. I will not stray, not again.
As I look ahead I see a strange image. I have not seen anything quite like this before. I am intrigued. As I approach I can see a very distorted image of myself. I reach out to touch it. It is a cold metal that seems to stretch for miles. How can I continue with this obstruction in the path? I call out to the Master. Silence again. I cry out in desperation…where are You? Do You not see me here? I am growing angry. I kick the wall. A loud resounding clang fills the air. I cover my ears. I scream for the Master and make my demands…I weep alone. I am cold, confused and forgotten.
As I fall into the place of half-asleep, half-awake I feel my body rise. I look down and see myself sitting in a heap of despair. I can now see for miles in all directions. I continue to rise as if looking down on a painting. The images become clear. I see myself, but I am so small now, a tiny speck in the far bottom corner of the painting. Almost insignificant in the vastness of the picture I now see. The wall that is before me is a sword. A magnificent sword held by the most glorious being I have ever encountered. I can only assume this is an angel. He is watching me and guarding the path. I cannot pass. How selfish I am to scream and fight the very thing that is saving my life. The path is no longer safe. If I were to continue on, I would be killed. But I scream and kick and do not understand that I am safe. Such is the game I continue to play…
Far ahead is the horizon. The light radiating from the hills is almost blinding. Shadows fill the valley for miles. An army sits in the valley, an enormous plethora of creatures. The most hideous beings imaginable sit in silence, waiting…
I cannot look for another moment. I turn my head.
When I open my eyes I begin to cry. A battle has begun…the gore is more than I can take. I see the army of Light appear over the horizon. The ground around me begins to shake. As I look down, I am now standing in what can only be describe as a large hand. I hear the Master’s voice telling me to watch and see… I cry at the sound of His voice. Oh, how I missed You. I look down to the battle scene. I no longer see myself in the picture. This is no longer a dream. I watch in awe.
As quickly as the blood begins to pour out, new life emerges from the ground. Where there was once death, life takes its place. Beautiful, glorious creation the way it was intended to be from the beginning…I am at peace.
Then I hear the Master say, “I have chosen you for this day. I will not leave you nor forsake you, but you must continue to walk the path. You will not always hear My voice. Keep listening. You will not always know where to go. Keep going. You will not always understand. Keep seeking. You will not always have the strength to walk. Keep walking. I am with you always. The path you walk is a hard one. Trust Me when you do not see. Listen for My voice when the silence consumes you. Reach out for Me when you cannot continue. I will carry you. Love others. Help them walk the path. Do not walk alone. I have created you to help each other. You cannot do this on your own.
If others will not come, go on. I will bring those who will help you on this journey. Watch for them. Love them. Help them. I am waiting for you at the end of the path. Seek Me and you will find Me. I am waiting to be with you again…Be strong and courageous. Run the path set before you. I have not forsaken you. I am preparing a place for you that where I am there you may be also. Walk on…”
And then silence comes. I embrace the silence, pick myself up and begin to walk…the journey continues…